1. Cut the Crap (alcohol)
2. You can't turn back time
Credit: trentudurhamQuality time with our kid as a Dad is very important. Make it a priority.
When we spend quality time with our kids, we get a chance, an opportunity, to bond with them on a more personal and deeper level than just the simple "hi", “how are you” questions, and the “bye’s”. If we are able to establish that bond with our kids, they feel more loved, cherished, special, and don’t feel the need to look for other playmates to play with, hang out with, or find other objects/electronics to keep the occupied. And with that strong bond, we can actually have real fun with our kids instead of the silent awkwardness of not knowing what to do with them.
But, say if we were to be away for most of the time, rarely coming back, our kids would be more distant with us, finding it hard to actually talk to them on deeper topics, personal topics, having fun together, etc.; simply, our kid would treat us as if we were strangers. In addition, our bond with our kids would be harder to establish, since kids grow into smarter, wiser, individuals as they learn not to reveal too much information to strangers. The kids would be accustomed to finding other people to hang out with, sharing secrets with, having fun with, instead of us. And when the kids become an adult, they would depart without much of any feelings and live elsewhere without much contact with us because they have come to realize that we were always busy and never really spent a lot of time with them.
3. Set your priorities
Credit: antiques.lovetoknowBeing a dad also means being selfless. Unlike before, we spend more time with our friends, workmates, batchmates, etc., but now that we have kids, they became the center of our world. All the things that we used to do are now at the last page of our book. We prioritize our kids above all, we are always concerned about their well-being but don't worry too much about raising them, just give it your best shot as a dad. Be present, supportive, and loving. Have faith in yourself!
4. Talk a lot when they are little
Credit: Panvola Mugs
Read them books and tell them your stories. Never ever get tired of answering their questions. Every little thing that we will say to our kids gives a great impact to them. We are their foundation, as much as possible be attentive and sensitive at the same time. Mind every words that will come out of our mouth.
5. You can do it!
Have the confidence that you will be able to raise your child well, but the question is how? It depends whether you want a child who acts well behaved or a child who makes thoughtful choices on how to behave.
The first is relatively easy. When a child misbehaves choose your favorite form of disciplinary action. Repeat. The downside is the kids may not behave when the parent isn't around. It also has a high failure rate with strong-willed kids. The greater the dads' control, the more likely it will result in damaged relationships and rebellion during the teen years.
The second takes more patience, more work, a willingness to accept that it takes longer for some kids to behave well in public, but it works better in the long run while also growing better relationships.
Assume kids are always doing the best they can. It's not only usually true, but put dads in a better frame of mind to respond.
See kids as visitors to a foreign land. They've only been on the planet a few years. There's so much to know and figure out. If they're failing, then there's something they can't figure out. They need someone's help to see how things work. Even if it's been explained several times, there's something they can't (yet) get.
Be your child's partner. If a child will be in a new situation, give them some tips on what will happen and what's expected. Just as you would a foreign visitor. If, despite your preparation, a child can't, for example, sit still in a restaurant, then take them out to run around while you wait. Or don't go to restaurants that require quiet behavior for a while. As kids get older, so does their ability to delay their needs. But when they're young, that's expecting too much. The child will let you know if they're ready or not.
Don't compare. Kids develop at different rates. Don't look longingly at small kids who can sit still. Their dads don't have special powers. The kids were graced with calm genes.
Your child may not be old enough. If you have explained better behavior in the past, then the child may understand but not be old enough to do. Behavior has a big emotional component. Knowing what to do comes quite a bit before being able to control one's actions. For kids emotions often seem like alien creatures that take over their bodies. Be patient. Age takes care of it. If a child has shown they can't (yet) be quiet in church, then a failure to be quiet in church the next Sunday is the adult's failure not the child's. See it as a conflict between your child's needs and others' needs. Your goal isn't to suppress your child's needs but to help him meet them in ways that don't step on others' toes.
If your child can do better but isn't, something is in their way.
It may be hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, or factors that makes the situation more complicated. Stop the bad behavior. Then look into what's getting in the child's way. Kids behave ever so much better when they have someone helping them meet their needs in ways that are safe and don't step on others toes.
Kids find it easier to take others into consideration when someone takes them AND others into consideration.
6. Help them develop a healthy lifestyle
Credit: HuffpostThese are the 4 healthy tips that can help them develop their lifestyle:
Learn the skills: Some people have innate skills. Some people acquire them through training and practice. Training and practice help even those who are gifted with innate skills.
Modeling: Be a good model to your kids. Children learn from your model and not from your teaching.
Respect the child’s capacity and autonomy and learn to ignore tantrums.
Inherent difficulties: Many of us have problems including ADHD, Asperger, anxiety, and depression. The victim maybe you or your kid. Either way, parenting can become challenging. It is important to be aware of these problems and get help as and when needed.
Being an expert dad may be hard but nothing is impossible as long as you are determined. Just keep the faith! These 6 Reliable Dad goals will surely help you as you push forward with your journey as dad.