True discipline is about helping the child to reach his/her goals. If there is a goal in the child's mind/heart, helping them get there through the encouragement of self regulation is good education. You go with the free will of the child by helping them to develop the tools they need to move forward. Here are the 4 Effective Ways To Discipline Our Children that will help us as parents.
1. Setting boundaries
Credit: Panvola Mugs
House rules are really important, especially for young kids. No hitting. Do not interrupt. We don't grab toys out of other kids' hands. But as they get older, it’s not enough to just learn the rules. Social interaction gets more complex. They need to learn to set boundaries for themselves and respect those of others. And that takes being able to recognize what others want and need — and express what they want and need, too. Boundaries are essentially about understanding and respecting our own needs, and being respectful and understanding of the needs of others and for that to work we need to be putting a big emphasis on helping kids develop greater empathy and self-awareness.
Learning how to be more empathetic can be a big help for kids when it comes to social interactions, but it’s equally important to help your child learn to advocate for himself and his boundaries when other kids are being pushy, aggressive or just thoughtless. Helping your child make a plan for what to do when someone isn’t respecting his feelings or boundaries will give your child the chance to practice standing up for himself.
2. Choices and Consequences
There is this misconception that discipline is about forcing things and shouting orders. This is not true discipline; it is enmeshment. It teaches self abuse, which always back fires. Discipline is about developing skills that help you get what you really want. Disciplining a child is about creating the space and support for them to develop those skills.
For example, let's say the family goes to a restaurant and the young child wants to join. We should brief our children on how they should behave inside the vicinity. You have to sit quietly, not run around, choose your meal from a menu. A little negotiation will be enough. Set the rules and explain to them so that they can agree before going to the restaurant..
When there is an agreement on the rules, it is clear why there would be consequences for breaking them, and the consequences can be natural. If the process is handled well, the child is encouraged to develop their skills in an integrative manner. They learn that they have the ability to get what they want.
3. Be careful when saying “Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster.”
How do you let your kids make mistakes so that they learn and get better?
If they're about to do something which is wrong, you correct them. And whatever it is they are about to do or done. You explain the dangers of that. They learn as they grow. Part of their growing up is misbehaving. That's when you tell them about that mistake. They don't need to make “mistakes” deliberately. Because that's the wrong way to go about parenting. You're are there to guide and teach them. Teach them right from wrong. You don't teach them nothing wrong from right. They learn from a mistake. There is no reason to make a mistake. But you prevent them from doing a wrong. If you don't tell them then they won't know. They would think it's right when it's wrong. And would think it's wrong when it's right. Please don't confuse them. So be very careful in raising them. Knowing that they are growing and learning. Not growing & doing wrongs. Some kids are sound and some can be a handful. But either way they would only know what you tell them.
Therefore tell them the truth. That is by keeping them on the right track. Please do not tell them to do bad. Because they would grow up bad. I'm sure you don't want that. Our parents raised us good. Told us right & not wrong. We all were well behaved. But did misbehave sometimes, because we were kids. What kids are taught, does live with them. It's like your kids are quite good. But you want them to be bad. But you don't know that. You need the right end to parenting. Let your kids be who they are. Not what you want them to be. Your duty is to watch them grow and, yes, teach them right from wrong.
4. Control your temper
The number one thing that you can do to make life for both you and your kids much more peaceful or devoid of yelling, threats and having the veins pop out of your neck is just do/back up what you say you are going to do and do it the first time you say it. This will alleviate lots of headaches. Lots of parents let themselves get to the point of utter frustration. They tell their kids what they want done, then after seeing it isn't not being done their voice begins to raise and the veins start showing then pretty soon after beginning to yell the instructions, things might start getting done or the parents just say, Forget it! (Or worse striking the child out of anger)
So, tell your child what you want done and by what time. (Setting a timer might help with this) Then after making sure they understand your instructions, turn around and walk out of the room. Then when they are supposed to be done, go back and see. If they are not done or have not made any headway in getting it done (although younger children may still of course need a bit more help or time but trying is what the important thing is for them) then it is important to give the consequences. This way of doing things, on a consistent basis, will help your children know that you are a strong person that means what you say and a person with integrity. A person they can count on and must listen to.
Credit: Panvola Mugs
Consequences could be: extra chores, or having to do someone else's chore, or having to help you with various tasks, or having to write a one page letter to you about why it is important to listen, or planting a row of flowers outside then weeding, or helping a neighbor with a chore or taking out their trash along with yours. Be creative! The ideas are endless.